Food For Thought- Part 2

Happy Valentines Day!  I want to start by saying thank you for the nice comments and remarks that I have recieved about the blog.  It is great that people can get something from this blog and the things that I go in my life.  I really enjoy writing this blog.

Ok, now to continue with Dr. Fleisher and his magical weight loss hypnosis.  The idea of this weight loss program was to listen to the tape of the Dr. "hypnotizing" me about 3 times a day and to follow up with him weekly so he could reinforce his "power".  So I started driving up to Palm Beach every week to meet with the him.  Now Dr. Fleisher was a bit excentric to say the least. His visits entailed him telling me of his sexual exploits and his boasting that he stopped actor James Coburn from smoking. Now I believe Mr. Coburn eventually passed from emphasema.  Of course he would also weigh me every week. I think I paid him $50.00 per session.  One day I was not feeling well, so I called him to cancel my appointment.  Well, he would not let me cancel and said he would drive to my apartment.  He was just upset that he wouldn't be able to weigh me.  So about the time I was expecting him, I went out to get my mail..All of a sudden I hear his voice yelling "HELLO RICHARD"..I turn around and there is the Dr. waving at me...from the cab of an eighteen wheeler truck. His car had broken down on I-95, he had hitched a ride and his car was still stuck on the highway.  I still don't know how they got the eighteen wheeler down my small street.  He had to eventually take a cab home. Oh btw, he had taken apart his scale and loaded it into his car which was now on I-95. After that and a few more bizarre appointments, all I could think about when I heard the "hypnosis" tape was him driving up in the truck yelling "Hello Richard" in his thick European accent.  It is a picture in my mind I will never forget. all that and I think I lost 11 pounds.

My food problems were getting worse in my 4th year of college.  Between the imbibing in the stuff that college kids imbibe in (that make you get munchies), to coming to terms with being gay and losing interest in my college major...I was a mess..Heavier then ever...My Parents and I decided I needed a big change. I left school in my final semester and went to the Duke Diet and Fitness Center in Durham North Carolina.  What was going to be a one month stay became a six month stay.  Now the fitness part of dieting where never effective because of my CMT..I was limited in the exercise i could do.. So I would go to the center every day, eat my 3 meals there, learn about dieting, then go back home and order a pizza. I did lose 36 pounds, but I should of lost 70 pounds.  My poor parents..The money they spent on all this was rediculous. I feel bad that I wasted all that money and time, but I can't go back.

What I had never realized in all of my weight lose attempts was that I had been suffering from severe depression.  After I had started working in the Travel Industry for a Wholesale Tour Operator..I kept seeing these commercials for Rader Institute, They really descibed how I was eating and feeling. So I went in for an evaluation.  According to the tests, I was depressed and a bullimic, which meant i binge ate, but never purged.  Their program consisted of 6 weeks inpatient therepy.  It really was the first time that I ever realized that I used food like drug addicts use drugs.  It was my way to stuff my emotions.  During the six weeks, I learned a great deal and met amazing people.  When I left there, I cried like a baby and could only relate it to being reborn in many ways.  But in actuality, i had only dealt with the tip of the iceburg.

I will tell you that the time in my life where I lost the most weight (besides being in hospitals or almost dying..lol) was when I decided to go back to school and study broadcasting.  I had lost my self confidence and even though I knew I could never make a living in broadcating, It brought the happiness back to my life.

Since I left the hospital almost two years ago after almost dying, I have basically stuck to a Carb Counting diet. I no longer binge eat, and I try very hard to stick with my current food plan.  Losing weight when you are in a wheelchair is difficult though. I don't think I will ever be happy with how I look, but I am not satisfied to hide either.  I look at it this way. I am who I am, If someone doesn't like who I am..screw 'em.

So on this Valentines Day..Food will not be my Valentine, But instead i will just love life.
Be Loving, Be Loved, Be Superb!
R